Weird
Things to Do With Yak Poo
Ugh,
what's that smell, you ask? It's yak poo, an all-too common substance found
around yaks. So you find yourself caught in the middle of a herd of yaks,
and what do you stumble upon? A pile of yak poo! You see, yak poo is generally
solidified when you find it, because their digestive systems are relatively
efficient, and can re-absorb much of the water mass in their wastes, which
is likely a genetic adaptation due to their geographical laocation and
general climate. (Whew!) So anyhow, you're stuck on this pile of yak poo.
"So what!" you say. Well, this is what! There's so many things you can
do with the stuff to keep yourself busy until the herd moves! The possibilities
are endless! Here are a few ways to use this underestimated resource!
1. Yak
poo is just like coal! Burn it for heat to make some real food (yak poo
isn't what I'd call a food group) or use the elecrical energy produced
to make a yak-poo clock!
(Who
needs potatoes when you have poo???)
2. Use
the smaller bits and pieces to play tiddly winks! Just make a mat out of
woven strands of grass, and dig a little hole in the ground. You can even
play this one with a friend!
3. Make
trendy footwear! Take some of the flattened pieces, and tie them to your
feet with long blades of grass or other natural vegetation!
4. Make
a hat to protect your little head from the sun! (Do the same as in number
3, except tie the poo to your head.)
5. Make
flatware! These same flat poo chips could easily suffice for dinner plates
and saucers. Use your imagination!
6. Rid
yourself of vampires! Yak poo tends to have a similar effect as garlic
does with vampires (in the movies, of course. But hey, all of life is a
stage, right?) Wear a ring of yak poo around your neck, for protection.
7. Make
potting soil! This isn't only a ton of fun, but you can profit from it
too! Just dig a hole in the ground, fill it with poo, and cover it up again
with a mixture of already-made soil and grass. Come back in a couple years,
and you'll have market-ready dirt!
8. Try
to make cave-etchings! Take some of this poo, and write on rocks, mountains,
or caves (if you can find a cave somewhere in the herd's resting spot.)
Draw funny cartoons, write funny poems, or even play hangman! Archaeologists
thousands of years from now will go back to them, and wonder what our civilization
was like!
9. Put
on a play! The yak poo will act as props. Anything from swords like in
Shakespeare's "Titus Andronicus" to the stone tablets in "Exodus."
10. Make
beads! Find round pieces of yak poo, pull blades of grass through them,
and tie the blades of grass together in a circle. Instant fashion jewellery!
Keep it for yourself, for loved ones, friends, family, or sell it when
you return to civilization!
11. Build
a house! Take pieces of yak poo, and use them like bricks. You can even
use dirt and water (which can't be too far away from the herd) to make
a mortar, of sorts, and stick them together to make your humble abode!
12. Make
puppets! Stick random pieces of poo together to look like creatures with
mortar (see number 11) and put on a puppet show! You can even have a puppet
theatre, if you make a scaled down house (also see number 11.)
~*Do
you have any suggestions for things to do with yak poo? If so, e-mail them
to me, and I'll add them to the page.*~
