The Antelope Ate my Homework! (A Humorous Editorial)
This is a general interest editorial/story written for the enjoyment of visitors to the Not so Great yet Not so Bad Page for Yaks... (okay okay, so I couldn't find any dumb antelope facts or pictures... at least I tried!!!)
It was a Tuesday morning, and little Timmy was rushing around the house, because he was already late for school. He brushed his teeth, and washed his face, and ran out the door, sandwich in one hand, homework in the other. If only he knew what was going to happen on the way!
Timmy was so late that he decided to take a shortcut through the woods rather than travel on the main highway like all the good little boys. So Timmy walked on and on, until he entered a small clearing. He didn't remember it being there before, and wondered if he was lost. All of a sudden, an antelope poked it's head out from between two trees, and walked towards him.
In a hushed voice, it said "hey kid, want to buy some weed?"
Timmy couldn't quite hear the antelope, and said "pardon me?"
The antelope moved a little closer and said "want to buy some weed?"
Timmy still didn't understand. He shook his head, and said, once more "pardon me?"
The antelope was getting frustrated, but he repeated himself once more. "Want to buy some weed?"
Timmy still didn't understand, but he was getting later and later for class, and had to get going. "I have to go to school!" he said, and walked away.
The antelope followed behind, weed in hand, and quickly took Timmy's homework.
"Hey!" Timmy cried, and tried to grab his books back. But it was no use, the antelope had a tight grip. Timmy sighed, realizing he didn't have time for this, and dejectedly started to walk away.
The antelope watched, and felt kind of bad. "Hey kid," it said, "here."
The antelope threw Timmy the book, and walked away.
"Thanks!" Timmy cried, and he ran off to school.
Once he was there, he explained that he was late because he slept in this morning, and the teacher excused him, and asked for his homework. Thankful that the moose gave it back, Timmy turned it in, and the teacher flipped through it, her face going from angry, to surprised, to astonished!
"Timmy!" she yelled, "This isn't your homework! It's a book full of weed! So that's why you were late this morning, huh?!?!?"
Timmy protested, explaining that the antelope he met on the way must have eaten the real homework, and replaced it with weed.
"Yeah, sure, you pothead" the teacher said, and immediately called his parents, who stuck him into a drug rehabilitation centre for the rest of his life.
The end!