The
Antelope Ate my Homework! (A Humorous Editorial)
This is a general interest
editorial/story written for the enjoyment of visitors to the Not so Great
yet Not so Bad Page for Yaks... (okay okay, so I couldn't find any dumb
antelope facts or pictures... at least I tried!!!)
It was a Tuesday
morning, and little Timmy was rushing around the house, because he was
already late for school. He brushed his teeth, and washed his face, and
ran out the door, sandwich in one hand, homework in the other. If only
he knew what was going to happen on the way!
Timmy was
so late that he decided to take a shortcut through the woods rather than
travel on the main highway like all the good little boys. So Timmy walked
on and on, until he entered a small clearing. He didn't remember it being
there before, and wondered if he was lost. All of a sudden, an antelope
poked it's head out from between two trees, and walked towards him.
In a hushed
voice, it said "hey kid, want to buy some weed?"
Timmy couldn't
quite hear the antelope, and said "pardon me?"
The antelope
moved a little closer and said "want to buy some weed?"
Timmy still
didn't understand. He shook his head, and said, once more "pardon me?"
The antelope
was getting frustrated, but he repeated himself once more. "Want to buy
some weed?"
Timmy still
didn't understand, but he was getting later and later for class, and had
to get going. "I have to go to school!" he said, and walked away.
The antelope
followed behind, weed in hand, and quickly took Timmy's homework.
"Hey!" Timmy
cried, and tried to grab his books back. But it was no use, the antelope
had a tight grip. Timmy sighed, realizing he didn't have time for this,
and dejectedly started to walk away.
The antelope
watched, and felt kind of bad. "Hey kid," it said, "here."
The antelope
threw Timmy the book, and walked away.
"Thanks!"
Timmy cried, and he ran off to school.
Once he was
there, he explained that he was late because he slept in this morning,
and the teacher excused him, and asked for his homework. Thankful that
the moose gave it back, Timmy turned it in, and the teacher flipped through
it, her face going from angry, to surprised, to astonished!
"Timmy!"
she yelled, "This isn't your homework! It's a book full of weed! So that's
why you were late this morning, huh?!?!?"
Timmy protested,
explaining that the antelope he met on the way must have eaten the real
homework, and replaced it with weed.
"Yeah, sure,
you pothead" the teacher said, and immediately called his parents, who
stuck him into a drug rehabilitation centre for the rest of his life.
The end!